Depression: Drowning in a Sea of Darkness

Depression: everyone has heard the word.  Most people at some point in time will experience it for themselves.  For those lucky enough to have never experienced an episode of depression, you have no idea how lucky you are.

Depression is the demon of darkness.  It’s an overwhelming feeling of drowning into an unknown world, where all the life and energy is sucked away from you.  It’s waking up and dreading getting out of bed; it’s going to bed and hoping you don’t wake up.  Depression is so much more than “being sad” or “feeling sorry for yourself.”  It’s an illness, and one that is incredibly painful and can strike without needing any reason at all.

I look back to my worst depression episode.  It was during the second half of my senior year of high school.  It didn’t make any sense; I was a senior and pretty much the king of the school.  (I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything but uh, *toot toot*)  I had gotten accepted into my dream college and had a full ride scholarship.  So why the heck was I finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning?  Why was I giving up all of the things I enjoyed, like performing and working out?  Why was I so exhausted even though I spent over 14 hours a day in bed?  I didn’t have an answer.  It just didn’t add up.  I knew I was depressed, but was that really enough to be causing me so much grief?  Apparently, it was.

The mind is a powerful thing.  I don’t think anyone will argue that fact.  It is powerful.  So, it’s not so crazy to think that it has the power to exhaust your entire body even though you aren’t doing anything.  The way I look at it is like this: Your mind is being surrounded and crushed by this unending darkness, and it is fighting with all of its might to break free and return to you. While its fighting, your body is not only left a broken mess, incapable of handling stress and emotions because your mind is gone, but you also become exhausted from doing nothing because your mind has to get its energy from somewhere in order to fight off the darkness.  Okay, so that’s probably not how it actually works, but that’s the way I look at it.  The point is the mind is really powerful and is capable of draining your body of all energy just to keep itself trucking through depression.  It sucks.

I don’t really have much more to say on depression because I feel like more people know about it than Mania.  However, if any of you are out there are battling depression and reading this, just know that you can beat it.  You can.  hundreds of thousands of people do it, and if they can do it, so can you.  If I can do it, so can you.

So uh, yeah, that’s all I got.  Depression sucks.  Go kick it’s ass.


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